I am currently soliciting participants to call in and submit your questions and relationship challenges, so that they can be included in the introductory episodes for this podcast. I will also use this material as part of a weekly blog I’ll begin sending out in February with relationship advice, mindfulness meditations, and somatic practices for healing attachment wounds and surviving emotional abuse.
At its core, this podcast is about belonging. If you could use an opportunity to just speak your challenges related to primary attachment relationships, past romances, friendships, workplace dynamics, or in relationship to yourself, please call (719)-759-9471 and leave an anonymous, detailed message (up to three minutes). You are also welcome to submit your questions in writing to help@askdoctorcindy.com.
Episode 4: Addicted to “Love”
Why do we compromise ourselves to belong?
Have you ever gone back to a romantic relationship or friendship that you know isn’t healthy for you? How can we help survivors break free from trauma bonds with their abusers, acknowledge the reality of the abusive behaviors that can keep them trapped, and survive the withdrawal period long enough to get to safety?
Trauma bonding is a phenomenon where people who are being abused become empathetic towards and emotionally enmeshed with their abuser, and this can keep people locked into abusive relationships, feeling like they cannot leave because they “love” this person. This episode discusses the neural processes in our brain that keep us locked into toxic relationships, and offers practices and interventions from neuroscience to support breaking the cycle of addiction to unhealthy relationships, just like we can work with any other destructive habit we wish to change.
Episode 3: Interrupting the Trauma Cycle and Honoring the Wisdom of Avoidance
My friend was ready to give up on herself, when she texted me a picture of the bruises on her neck from where her abuser choked her. In having the courage to ask for help, she was able to recognize that her self-hatred was keeping the door open to being abused. In reaching out for support, she gave her wounded and avoidant parts the message that she actually did deserve safety and care. She then found the strength to finally stand up for herself, and put an end to the cycle of violence.