I am currently soliciting participants to call in and submit your questions and relationship challenges, so that they can be included in the introductory episodes for this podcast. I will also use this material as part of a weekly blog I’ll begin sending out in February with relationship advice, mindfulness meditations, and somatic practices for healing attachment wounds and surviving emotional abuse.
At its core, this podcast is about belonging. If you could use an opportunity to just speak your challenges related to primary attachment relationships, past romances, friendships, workplace dynamics, or in relationship to yourself, please call (719)-759-9471 and leave an anonymous, detailed message (up to three minutes). You are also welcome to submit your questions in writing to help@askdoctorcindy.com.
Episode 3: Interrupting the Trauma Cycle and Honoring the Wisdom of Avoidance
My friend was ready to give up on herself, when she texted me a picture of the bruises on her neck from where her abuser choked her. In having the courage to ask for help, she was able to recognize that her self-hatred was keeping the door open to being abused. In reaching out for support, she gave her wounded and avoidant parts the message that she actually did deserve safety and care. She then found the strength to finally stand up for herself, and put an end to the cycle of violence.
Stop Playing The Blame Game
Before I blocked communication with my ex-husband, he texted and emailed me multiple times a day blaming me for his unhappiness and anger.
Eight years after our divorce, these messages are still coming, even in response to simple logistical questions like “can you pick up our daughter from school.” His constant harassment and the way he jabs at my abandonment wounds invades my thoughts and keeps me awake at night. His accusations even make me short-tempered with my daughter, which breaks my heart, because all I’ve ever wanted was to be the mom I didn’t get to have.